Issue #001: Zen in the Art of Fighting
[Original Newsletter Published on August 1, 2021]
Zen in the Art of Fighting #001
Welcome to the inaugural issue of this newsletter from the front lines of my ambitions as a martial artist and author. I'm glad you're here and am exceptionally grateful for your support, interest, and investment in this journey.
However we know each other or however you found this newsletter, I hope sharing some stories and thoughts on a monthly-or-more cadence will inspire you to find and follow some courageous and crazy dreams of your own.
Before we begin, special shoutout to my Patreon Party People
Before we dig in, I'd like to shout out my cohort of new Patreon patrons from the month of July: Jonathan G, Carly G, Roohi R, Steve B, Sophetra K, Chetan J, Anu P, Jeremy F, and Bug M. Your contribution to the "creative tip jar" caffeinated me through writing this newsletter and conducting interviews of some awesome people whose paths I've crossed so far on the trip. Thank you for your generous moral and monetary support.
If you'd like to join the Patreon party, unlock exclusive content, special notes, and other perks from August, onward, you can contribute here. Every cent counts.
Let's Dive In.
I've written and re-written this newsletter for the last two weeks before deciding that done is better than perfect. So here goes nothing. With a new month on the rise, let's see how far we've come.
The theme of this first newsletter is Q&A. Below, you'll read about the questions others have asked me about my trip so far, questions that I've been asking myself while on the trip, and the answers, thoughts, and musings I've had related to those questions. Without further ado...
Where are you right now?
Today, and for five more days, I am in Austin, Texas. It’s steamy and humid and I’m relishing the air conditioning, the coffeehouse pop, and the non-domestic scenery of Irie Bean Coffee bar on S Lamar Boulevard and Jo's Coffee (the downtown location) as I revise this newsletter (again).
How are you feeling about quitting your job?
Like the pressure valve of a pressure cooker got turned off. You can read more about it here. It also hasn’t fully hit me because I haven’t run my final paychecks dry (yet). When that happens, I fully believe that I will do the following in the sequential order:
Start freaking out and wondering what I have done.
Become both intensely stingy and immensely resolute in funding my creative lifestyle: via Patreon, pitching paid pieces in media outlets, and hustling to write a book proposal, which would (theoretically) lead to an agent and an advance.
Consider a longer stay in a cheaper city to stretch the budget.
I was asked last week how my life was changed by quitting my job, and my notebook illustration below is the most succinct way of explaining it. In short, my focus is less diluted, going from having three pulls on my focus (work, jiu-jitsu, writing) to having only two (jiu-jitsu and writing).
While I am definitely decompressing from the constant pings of slack and requests for status updates, I wouldn't say I'm totally chilling out so much as redirecting my formerly-corporate efforts: instead of product and project managing various business initiatives, I'm project and product managing my creative work (and hoped-for career path).
How is the writing going?
I'm not quite as prolific as I was hoping I'd be, but I’ve got more on paper than I did a month ago. The biggest pieces of writing I've been generating have come from conducting and synthesizing interviews. As part of efforts related to the book, I’ve spoken to six of my instructors on the trip so far about their history in training, teaching, coaching, or competing in martial arts, with two more "coffee chats" scheduled before I leave Austin.
If there’s one thing that is keeping my spirits high, sticking an IV into a body and mind dehydrated of motivation after intense training, it’s these conversations. They’ve been thought-provoking, invigorating, and have reminded me of one of the reasons I fell in love with the sport to begin with: it’s consistently brought me some of the best friends, mentors, and sources of inspiration I could ever ask for.
Being a student of these individuals—both of their jiu-jitsu and of their stories—has been a joy, and I’m excited to share pieces of these conversations in future newsletters, blogs, social posts, and, eventually, in the book. If you're supposed to find the thing you’d do for free and find a way to make a living out of it, what I am doing now is the thing I would do for free: telling stories, listening to other people’s stories, and providing a way to share those stories at scale. If I do it long enough, maybe I'll get paid for it. That's the intention, at any rate.
Have you had any competitions recently? How did they go?
Between late June and July, I competed in three tournaments: one hosted by Grappling Industries (a round robin format tournament) and two hosted by the International Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Federation (IBJJF). Grappling Industries is a smaller-scale, round-robin tournament organizer that draws a more local (and typically more casual) body of competitors, whereas IBJJF is one of the bigger, more established, and better-regarded tournament-organizing bodies that draws competitors from around the corner or around the world (in the case of the majors, at least).
Across the three competitions, I had a total of fifteen matches, and I’d say I was proud of maybe three of them. For the most part, I felt pretty burnt out in all of them, largely from self-imposed pressure and expectations related to my own performance. I’m currently reevaluating the role of competition on this trip and seeking to answer whether competition is helping or hurting my attitude toward jiu-jitsu (and to myself) right now. I've only registered for two more tournaments before EOY and am keen on doing those two bigger competitions well instead of doing every one in sight. Moreover, competing can get very expensive between registration and travel costs. Not making a salary requires being more judicious on which competitions are worth staking my savings on and which aren't.
My opponent is "Me, 2.0" with better hair and a better rashguard, but I end up escaping this guillotine choke to come up on top and win 6-2 in this match in the Orlando Open No Gi division.
Aside from competitions, how is training going in general?
On one hand, training is awesome. I feel immensely spoiled by the novelty of training partners and teaching styles I’ve been able to enjoy on the trip. I used to compete for the purpose of testing myself against women of similar weight, experience, and age, since women that fit those criteria weren’t abundantly available in my home gym’s membership. On this trip, I have had a ton of intermediate women to "sharpen my swords" against, many in their late twenties to late forties, all tenacious. As for the instructors, I’ve found a lot of value in hearing the same language of jiu-jitsu spoken by different teachers. After studying under the same coaches for four years, there were some things that never quite made sense or details I might have tuned out by virtue of having heard them from the same people for years. New messengers of the same gospel have had value for my game. It’s a little bit like being a kid and hating brussels sprouts and then suddenly, as an adult, you have one roasted with bacon and parmesan and it’s extraordinary. Sometimes a different preparation of an ingredient or rendition of a lesson helps it stick and make its mark. I’ve felt this way about the position of knee on belly, the shoulder jump, and certain armbar finishes from closed guard in my last two weeks in Austin.
On the other hand, training is very challenging. It’s really hard to switch cities after just a few months. Just when I start getting comfortable (with the city, the coaches, the people) and feel like I'm "hitting my stride", it’s time to uproot and hit the road again with a few more techniques in the toolbox, a few new friends, and a bit of myself left behind. The first few weeks of being in a place is a bit of proving myself—that I train hard, take my training seriously, am a safe and good training partner, and care about getting better. Once that proving period is done, I’ve built a decent amount of trust and rapport with new coaches, training partners, and can afford to train a little harder, push the intensity with certain people in certain rounds, and ask questions more freely and less self-consciously. I get a solid month of knowing how to maximize the room and pick my partners well for training (e.g. work on my guard with Person X, work on my passing with Person Y, work on pure survival but expect to get totally smashed by Person Z). Then I have to repeat the process in a new gym and city, usually after leaving a part of my heart behind in the previous training room.
Another challenge comes from caring a lot about not being seen as your typical drop-in or transient. By the time I’m through in a given city, I don’t want people to see me as a two-month casual visitor. I’m determined to be a part of the place, immerse myself in its culture and community, and do right by the people there—especially if I'm going to be writing about them or if I move to train with them full-time one day. Such are the considerations of my “BJJ study abroad.”
Have you eaten anything good recently?
Austin has no shortage of good food, but competition meant needing to watch what I ate for much of the trip until the final weeks, when I could indulge unapologetically. If I had to provide a shortlist for the last eight weeks, I'd say:
The Cadillac Pizza from Via 313. It's a rare gluten-free pizza worth raving about.
Breakfast tacos from Valentina’s Tex-Mex. I ordered mine on corn with a slice of brisket, which made for an indulgent breakfast that was well worth the "meat sweats" on top of sweating in the Texas heat.
BBQ from Terry Black’s Barbecue and East Side Tavern. The former is a famed and locally-loved spot with signature lines around the block. The latter is more of a sleeper spot with a chill, pub vibe and Frosé Thursdays.
Coffee from Anderson's and specialty coffee drinks from Greater Goods and Summer Moon. Anderson's is a small, specialty whole bean coffee and tea store with beautiful, imported ceramics, coffee makers, tea pots, and more. Greater Goods' Ube Pebbles Latte was worth the one-time splurge and Summer Moon's namesake latte is heavenly.
Ice cream from Lick (hard ice cream) and D’Lites (soft-serve ice cream). Lick was reminiscent of my favorite ice cream spot in college (the bent spoon in Princeton, NJ). D'lites is a low-calorie ice cream franchise that I would have loved even if it weren't low-calorie. The soft-serve is that good.
Snack foods from Buc-ee’s, the gas station/convenience store chain. For those who love Wawa, Buc-ee's is like a Wawa on steroids. I wholeheartedly endorse the Beaver Nuggets and their wall of various flavors of jerky. Special thanks to Al V. for introducing me to the wonders of Buc-ee's. #sponsormebucees
I didn't quit my job to become a food blogger, so pardon the photo quality. This is the brisket breakfast taco from Valentina's and it was delicious.
Are you reading, watching, or listening to anything good (in your now-spare or now-spent-driving time)?
What I'm reading: Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen. You can take the girl out of New Jersey (and around the country), but you can't take the New Jersey out of the girl. I met Bruce and got a signed copy of Born to Run back in 2016, but never had the time to sit down and read the 500-ish page behemoth with any degree of consistent focus.
Five years later, this book comes at the perfect time in my life to hit all the right chords. Reading the memoir of an artist determined to perfect his craft, indulge his ambition, and fight his personal demons along the way is exactly what this writer needed. My favorite line in the book so far is one that is especially fitting for this whole adventure:
No one you have been and no place you have gone ever leaves you. The new parts of you simply jump in the car and go along for the rest of the ride.
What I'm watching: Invincible. Technically, I'm re-watching it on Amazon Prime. If you haven’t seen or read Invincible, you’re missing out. It's a (frequently-bloody) gut punch that reminds you what it means to be human. Think Watchmen (the graphic novel, not the movie or HBO series) without the heavy Cold War undertones. The playlist from the show is a banger, too.
What I'm listening to: Since leaving the lifestyle of listening to all-hands meetings and Zoom calls, I try to listen to interviews of artists and athletes I look up to first thing in the morning to keep my mind oriented toward the positive and productive in my own artistic and athletic pursuits. Some standouts I've tuned into in the last month include:
The School of Greatness has two great episodes interviewing Lindsey Vonn and Austin Kleon. Lindsey Vonn talks about her transition out of competitive skiing and why she wouldn’t give advice to her younger self. Austin Kleon talks about the merit of reading obituaries as a way to stoke the fire of creativity.
Michael Lewis on The Tim Ferris Show might be my favorite interview of all time. If I had to pick one person whose career and attitude I'd choose to emulate, it's Lewis'. He's positive, inquisitive, gracious, and clever. I could spend a whole newsletter on why I love this interview and may save that love letter for a future edition. In the meantime, if you tune into this episode, let me know, and let's nerd out about it together.
Jonathan Fields' interview of Chris Bosh on The Good Life Project was exceptionally moving. Chris talks about his departure from pro basketball due to health issues at age 31, his subsequent reflection and recreation of his identity, and his resulting book, Letters to a Young Athlete.
What are the top things I have learned so far on this trip?
Continuity is as much a privilege as change.
I’m capable of making new friends as an adult.
Having more time is more valuable to me than having more money right now.
Last but not least, how is the dog?
Snickers is fine. She had her first babysitting experience with a total stranger from Rover.com when I traveled to Orlando to compete. She peed on the sitter's rug but took this very cute picture.
Snickers, up close and personal.
Closing out...
Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed my first update from the road!
If you want to continue supporting the journey, chip some $ in the creative tip jar for exclusive content and perks on Patreon, follow @zenintheartoffighting on Instagram for weekly posts, and forward this newsletter along to one friend you think might be entertained.
Until next time, with a big hug of appreciation from deep in the heart of Texas,
Erica
P.S. The style and content of this newsletter is subject to change based on personal whim and subscriber feedback. If you've read this far, why not reply back to let me know if you liked this newsletter and how I can make the next one even better?